PUT A FORK IN IT, IT’S DONE…

Every model that I build has to reach a personal standard and if it doesn’t, I consider that a failure. This isn’t about competing with others, trying to outbuild the rest of the world, this is about my own personal goals, my singular approach to everything that I build and if I don’t hit those self-imposed heights, I will never be happy with a completed model.

The last four weeks has been one of those months when nothing work-wise, seems to have been a success. From postponed projects, though to inaccurate builds, it’s been a month to forget. Add into that a nasty bout of Norovirus that flattened me as my deadlined builds were supposed to be completed, and you get some idea of how things didn’t go, shall we say, according to plan.

My clown car of a month started to roll backwards downhill when I discovered that my Tamiya Hien, a model that I really liked, had been finished in the colours of an entirely different version.

For reasons that I cannot explain, I completed my long-nosed Tamiya Hien in famous markings that were applied to a different variant. Despite spending time checking I had chosen the correct variant when I rifled through my decal options, I somehow became blinded by the particular scheme you see here and then in a rush to complete the model, completely ignored those checks. I chose a scheme that was applied to a short-nosed Ki-61, not the longer-nosed Ki-61 ‘Tei’ that Tamiya replicate in their kit. I thus had a very nice model, but a very poor replica.

Even now, I’m at a loss as to how this happened. Part of the reason was no doubt my rush to completion. When time is short, the normal checks and balances don’t always come into play, those mental notes that you often make being forgotten in the mists of impending deadlines. It may also be the case that working on another model as this one was being completed, helped muddy the waters a little. I always struggle to focus on multiple projects, none getting 100% of my attention. I certainly think that was the case here, thoughts of Monogram Marauders reducing focus on Tamiya Hiens to an unacceptable and ultimately, fatal degree. But like I say, I’m still at a loss, so introspection will go only so far to explaining my error, not all the way…

And so we turn our attention to the other model that I worked on this month: Monogram’s 1/48 Marauder.

This was to be the main focus of my attention throughout April. A model that I’d wanted to build for some time, I spent a lot of time bringing the parts together, adding some detail here and there and then applying a paint finish that replicated in part, one of those ratty, Olive Drab over Neutral Gray birds that looked so utilitarian in service during the Second World War. That was the plan… Until it wasn’t.

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For much of the time that I spent on the model it looked pleasing enough, but I soon started to see issues that began to annoy me. Odd constructional problems, scuffed plastic that looked as though I’d take a file to it (because, you know, I had); misaligned areas; odd fit issues with parts that I should have fixed in place before painting, but didn’t – that kind of thing. I kept on asking why I’d approached it in the way I had; what I could have done differently and whether it would look the way I wanted it too, once complete and on my bench.

And then I started to look at the finish. And look. And Look. And look…

I have to hold my hands up and admit that I’ve never felt comfortable when it comes to Olive Drab colour schemes. I can’t bear the colour to start with, so I’m always on the back foot when it comes to its application and subsequent weathering. Despite this, I decided that I would finish my Monogram build in this colour scheme and then indulge in a little natural metal when the ICM kit crossed my desk, later this year. And so the model was painted and that’s where it started to slide down that hill…

The first hurdle I almost crashed over was marked “pick a damned colour”. There are so many to choose from, so I went with Gunze Sangyo’s Mr. Hobby Olive Drab, this being used as a base coat and then, having lightened it with Yellow Green and Flesh, I added highlights over the surface. At first it looked okay, but then I started to add more layers, applying lighter and darker shades, and with each subsequent run of colour, the finish became muddier and muddier. Panels that I’d carefully defined, disappeared and before I knew it, the paintwork that I’d so carefully planned, looked anything but. And then I ran out of paint, so had to mix other colours to match, which worked a treat. Not. It was, to put in mildly, not the most successful of paint jobs.

Over the following week I tried to bring it back from the brink, but much like a meal that you’ve over-salted where no amount of work is ever going to make it taste good, no amount of additional polishing was going to make this turd, shine. Despite posting images Online that garnered much praise (thank you all so much for the kind words!) I couldn’t get past how much I disliked the way the model looked. I even posted an update on my Facebook page to that effect, suggesting that I was very close to overworking the model. I wasn’t very close as it turned out: I’d passed that point some time before. Nothing was going to make this model look good in my eyes. I was done. It was done. Time to move on.

And so last night I posted on my Facebook page that I was going to shelve the build. The majority of following comments suggested that I push on and that the model looked great. It was all very kind and well-meaning, but I needed it to look great, to me. And that’s the point: it has to look good, to me. It’s incredibly pleasing when others like my work (after all, that’s the point of much of it), but that is always secondary to what I think of it. Modelling has always been a very personal way that I can been able to express myself and find fulfilment and if those aims fall short, no amount of third-party praise is going to help me feel better, no matter how well-intentioned.

As a modelmaker, it’s often very difficult to make others understand why you are calling a halt to a project when superficially there is so little left to do. I’m often asked why I don’t just finish it, but that misses the point: I don’t want to. When a project reaches a point where I actively hate what I’m looking at and I’m starting to become physically upset thanks to the frustration that I feel, it’s always time to move on. Life is simply too short. This was one of those projects.

Here’s the thing; if this model had been sent to me, I’d have persevered and finished it off. I may not have liked it, but that is my job, so professional responsibilities have to take precedent over personal feelings. This though was not one of those kits. Yes, I’d been given it but not for work, so I was making a decision to build it for my own collection. The fact that it was going to be published, was an added bonus. When the wheels came off, I was not beholden to work to complete it, so had the freedom to let it go.

Projects such as this only owe me time, nothing more. That though doesn’t mean that I am going to approach it in a halfhearted way. Every model that I build has to reach a personal standard and if it doesn’t, I consider that a failure. This isn’t about competing with others, trying to outbuild the rest of the world, this is about my own personal goals, my singular approach to everything that I build and if I don’t hit those self-imposed heights, I will never be happy with a completed model. In fact, if that happens during a build, I simply won’t finish it, because my goals have not been met and as a result, my enthusiasm will simply collapse. 

This model will be kept and at some point I may return to it. As it stands, it’s one to learn from and one that will remind me of those ever-present dangers of overthinking and overworking. Looking at it this morning, I know I’ve made the right decision to leave it be. That paintwork is still nowhere near good enough, nor is my construction. If I return to it, I plan to rework large parts of both so that it ends up being what I wanted it to be before I opened the box. Time will no doubt help to smooth over the edges of my damaged psych, helping to perhaps regain a sense of perspective that has abandoned me throughout the last few weeks of this month. In the meantime, it will remain another compromised build from a month when nothing really went according to plan. Onwards and upwards!

See you next time. 

MY MARAUDER BUILD’S ON YOUTUBE…

If you would like to see more of my build, please take a look at the videos that I posted during the model’s construction. obviously, it won’t take you all the way through now that the model has been put on ice, but it will given you some pointers, should you wish to build something similar for you collection.

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PLEASE GET INVOLVED IN THE DISCUSSION!

1. 

   sorry the last comment was me Andrew wright but it came up as anonymous

2. 

   hi Spencer, not sure if I had one reserved but can I get one please money has just been transfered…

3. 

   Hi Spencer could you put me down for a copy of the phantom printed book please. I have emailed you…

4. 

   Hi Spencer: Not sure if I already have, but yes please reserve a copy of your new Phantoms book for…

5. 

   Yeah, whatever Spencer. Petty gripes over not a lot methinks.