Given that my life revolves around subjects that are new or by their very nature popular if I do build something for me, it has to be a little more off the wall.
28th July 2025
I must be in one of those moods at the moment. One that simply won’t allow me to make a decision going forward and this creates a level of inertia that I find as upsetting as it does, frustrating.
Here’s what’s causing my angst: my complete inability to decide on a personal project that I can build away from work.
As it stands I have a need to build something new that I can reveal later this year. Much of my work is already mapped out in terms of projects for my magazine commitments, so this needs to be something different. Something I can get my teeth into. Something that I hope will be memorable and not just another build that will fade into the background.
This need first became apparent at the end of March, plenty of time I figured to not only make a decision, but once made, build the model. We are now at the end of July and my decision still hasn’t been made and the model, whatever it should be, remains steadfastly unstarted.
This is absolutely nothing new. I have become so conditioned to build models for publication, kits that are essentially chosen for me, that when I get a chance to do something for myself I can never – and I do mean never – make my mind up what to have a go at. This happens every Christmas for example, a period when I get some time off, so is the perfect opportunity to work on something for myself. I don’t think I’ve built anything over the Christmas period for years. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that the last two years I made a conscious decision not to even think about it, thus saving myself the angst of being so unwilling, nay, unable, to decide on a suitable target for my attention.
The real issue is my need to be different. Given that my life revolves around subjects that are new or by their very nature popular if I do build something for me, it has to be a little more off the wall. It has to capture my imagination and thanks to my awkwardness, it has to be something that others won’t have a go at, even if that means an unusual colour scheme or variant. And so, I spend way longer hunting for an idea than I do building one and time that I should have to do it, condenses or is used up completely. It is, as you might imagine, really annoying.
So as it stands, another day has passed and I’ve still to pick a subject. I have a few I’m mind, but nothing that I’m fully on board with. All would look great, but would they be what I need and would they be different enough to keep me on track as I work on them as my monthly builds continue to take centre stage? Who knows. Frankly, I should just get on with it and stop overthinking the process. Mind you, doing that might involve an entirely new mindset and I’m not sure that the psychiatrist’s chair is ready for that particular appointment!
See you tomorrow.
SPENCER POLLARD'S KIT BOX 
So many kits, so little time. To build that B1B that will require over 100 modifications to make it correct, or that A10 that will require about 10, or the race car that just needs some plumbing, oh the choices. I personally need to do something or I’ll start to loose my mind. Seriously after a tough build, simple is nice but halfway through I start to think, yea it’ll look great but it not a challenge, why am I doing this one.
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